What gives you direction in life?
Wait. This is so timely. I have been wondering about this quite often lately. Since getting laid off from work almost a month ago, it feels like I am drifting through uncharted waters. I feel so lost, like a lone voyager floating aimlessly in the middle of the Antarctic. It’s cold and awfully silent. This unfamiliar situation has really got me questioning my worth, my purpose, and how I have lived my life so far.
All my life’s regrets and setbacks resurfaced. It’s hard to face. It’s hard to look at. But maybe it’s the confrontation I need to brave in order to move forward. Maybe there’s something here I have been running away from that needs to be dealt with before I can finally find my next step. This could be the best time for me to reflect and reestablish my self-worth, rediscover my calling, and recalibrate my way of living.
It’s pretty scary, I must admit. But going through this detour is the only way I could redefine the trajectory of my life. On the outside, I might be wandering off, but on the inside, I am building myself up. I am writing again, genuinely, without the influence of unfeeling technology. I am finding myself dancing and singing again without a care in the world. I am learning to face myself, be present, slow down, and become aware of the sound and scent of my surroundings again.
I know that it could look so careless, even irresponsible, but I am finding out that sometimes, the slower you are, the faster you get there. As counterintuitive as that may sound, I am starting to believe it. It’s pretty scary, I must admit again. Because my resources are limited and running out, I may be putting myself in a bit of a bind here. But as the song goes, “Nothing safe is worth the drive.” That may be one of my favorite Taylor Swift song lyrics. The stakes are high, but I am betting on the significant gain that will come out of this unexpected part of the journey.
“But nothing safe is worth the drive…” – Taylor Swift, Treacherous
What then can I say? What gives my life direction is what remains of my substance despite the shaking of my worth and purpose, like my values and convictions. They are like the pieces of a compass just waiting to be reassembled, and then I am off sailing again.
Well, putting it in words can make it look like I’ve got this. But honestly? It doesn’t feel like I’ve got this. It looks messy with the occasional crying and questioning of faith. But we shall get through this.
If you’re here and this sounds familiar, please say hi so I can send you a hug! Let’s go!